Coping with Infertility Tips

Infertility can be an incredibly lonely place, even though it’s a relatively common problem. Often people will tell you to, “Just relax and it’ll happen,” but that’s often easier said than done. Follow our tips on coping with infertility, from coming to terms with an infertility diagnosis to finding support groups.

What is infertility?

The definition of infertility is the inability to conceive after a year of regular, unprotected intercourse. It is a widespread condition, affecting approximately 1 in 6 couples in Australia.

Infertility can result from various factors, including age, medical conditions, hormonal imbalances, genetic disorders, and lifestyle choices. It affects both men and women, not just women as commonly believed. In fact, infertility cases are equally attributed to male factors, female factors, or a combination of both, with some cases having unknown causes.

It's important to debunk the misconception that infertility is always permanent. Advances in medical technology and treatments have enabled many couples to overcome infertility and successfully conceive.

Causes of infertility

The cause for infertility can be complex, with multiple factors contributing to difficulties in conceiving. Understanding these causes is crucial for seeking appropriate medical interventions and support.

Female infertility can arise from:

• Irregular or absent ovulation
• Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)
• Blocked fallopian tubes
• Endometriosis
• Age-related fertility decline
• Hormonal imbalances

Male infertility can result from:

• Low sperm count
• Poor sperm motility or morphology
• Erectile dysfunction
• Genetic disorders
• Obstructions in the reproductive tract
• Hormonal imbalances

Causes that affect infertility in both males and females:

• Ageing
• Smoking
• Being overweight or underweight
• Medical or genetic conditions

Unexplained infertility:

Unexplained infertility occurs when no apparent cause can be identified despite thorough medical evaluations. This can be frustrating, but professional guidance and support can help explore alternative conception methods or assisted reproductive technologies.

Treatment of infertility

Infertility can be challenging, but several treatment options may be available to improve your chances of pregnancy. These options include lifestyle changes, medical treatments, and assisted reproductive technologies (ART).

Lifestyle changes play an important role in supporting fertility. Maintaining a healthy weight, eating a balanced diet, and regular physical activity can improve reproductive health. Avoiding smoking, excessive alcohol, and illicit drugs can also positively impact fertility.

Other medical treatment options will depend on any underlying causes of infertility and individual circumstances. Consulting with a healthcare professional or fertility specialist is essential to determine the most suitable treatment plan for you.

8 tips on coping with infertility

1. Coming to terms with an infertility diagnosis

How to cope with unexplained infertility can be particularly difficult as there is nothing obvious to “fix”. Whether you’ve received a shock infertility diagnosis, or it’s crept up on you after months or years of trying for a baby without success, it can be a lot to process. If you are able to access it, the prospect of fertility treatment, such as IVF (in vitro fertilization) and IUI (intrauterine insemination) can offer hope and potentially more answers for some people, while for others this can also take time to come to terms with as it’s not how you imagined starting your family. Talk to a fertility specialist for options that may best suit you and your partner.

2. Telling people that you’re struggling with infertility

While it’s completely understandable that you might just want to curl up on the sofa on down days, try not to isolate yourself completely as this can have a negative, self-perpetuating effect on your mental health. Opening up about your fertility struggles to loved ones can often feel like a relief, giving you an opportunity to explain what you’re going through. However, not everyone knows how to deal with this news, and you may find that some people either say the wrong thing or avoid talking about it altogether. If you choose to share your fertility issues, tell others what they can do to support you. You might let people know if you appreciate them checking in on you or if you prefer to update them with news when you have it.

3. Seek out infertility support

Friends and family will do their best to support you in coping with infertility, however you may feel they will only be able to truly understand what you are going through in your fertility journey if they have experienced it themselves. That’s why it’s important to find your infertility tribe. You might discover you have friends who are also desperately trying to get pregnant without success—perhaps you being open about your fertility struggles might prompt them to share theirs. Or you could try infertility support groups in your local area. They may also provide an infertility support helpline that you can call. For online support, you could always search #TTCcommunity on Instagram or Facebook to find stories from others also trying to conceive (TTC). Just knowing you’re not alone can be hugely comforting. Finally, if you are undergoing fertility treatment it is likely your fertility clinic will offer fertility counselling as part of its services. A professional fertility counsellor will be able to help you work through your emotions and will offer tips on how to cope with infertility depression and stress. You may choose to do this on your own or with your partner.

4. Keeping your relationship strong

Trying unsuccessfully for a baby month after month can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships. Sex can feel like a chore, there may be blame or guilt, as well as differences in how you are coping with infertility. Try to have some “fertility free” days, where you don’t talk about it, and make sure you schedule in lots of fun, for example date nights, to keep the romance alive and remind yourselves what you love about each other. Remember, even though it’s only one of you who has to undergo the majority of tests and treatment, you’re in this together as a team. Look to each other for support and tell your partner what they can do to help you—whether that’s giving you a hug or declining an invitation to a family gathering with lots of children. Don’t expect your partner to respond in the same way as you either—everyone’s different. Be brave and share your fears—even the big ones like worrying your partner will leave if the fertility issues lie with you. You may choose to work through some of these with a fertility counsellor.  

5. Exercise for fertility and mental health

As well as keeping you and your partner in good shape for trying to conceive, physical activity is great for boosting your mental health, which can help when coping with infertility. This is because exercise reduces levels of your body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, and releases endorphins— “happy hormones”—your body’s natural mood-lifters. Be careful not to overdo it though, as being underweight —as well as being overweight—can have a negative effect on fertility. Learn about our 6 trying-to-conceive tips to help get your body ready for pregnancy. Be aware that too much exercise, or too intense exercise may have a negative impact on fertility, for example on the regularity of your period. Instead, why not try fertility yoga or going for a gentle walk? You might want to listen to a fertility podcast or just connect with nature and your surroundings. Talk to your fertility doctor if you’re unsure of what and how much exercise you should do.

6. Feel more in control with a healthy TTC diet

Infertility can make you feel like you have no control over your life, but one area where you can regain some power is what you choose to put into your body. Eating a nutritious TTC diet, rich in fruits, vegetables, and legumes, healthy fats, fibre and multigrain carbohydrates, vitamins and antioxidants will best support your fertility, and in doing so you can feel empowered that you’re doing everything possible to boost your chances of getting pregnant. It’s likely you’ll feel better physically too as your body is nourished with everything it needs to encourage a healthy conception.

7. Try not to obsess about getting pregnant

Infertility can feel all-consuming but try not to let it take over your life. When you feel like you’re not moving forward in your quest to have a baby it can help to progress in other areas, for example taking up a new hobby, doing home improvements, or travelling. Taking a break can help you reset and may even be an opportunity for life-enhancing personal growth. But if you’re worried about delaying because of declining fertility, speak to your fertility doctor.

8. Coping with infertility stress

Dealing with the emotional stress of infertility can be overwhelming. Finding healthy coping mechanisms to manage your emotions is essential. Engage in self-care activities like yoga, meditation, or hobbies you enjoy. Talking to a therapist or counsellor specialising in fertility issues can provide valuable strategies and support.  Joining a support group or seeking individual counselling can be incredibly helpful. Connecting with others experiencing similar challenges offers a sense of belonging and understanding. Support groups or professional counselling can provide a safe space to share feelings, gain insights, and learn from others. 

 

Frequently asked questions about infertility

What is infertility?

Infertility is a medical condition that refers to the inability to conceive a child after a year of regular unprotected intercourse. It can be caused by various factors, including hormonal imbalances, reproductive disorders, age, or lifestyle factors. It can occur on either the male or female side, or both. Seeking medical evaluation and assistance from a fertility specialist can help identify the underlying causes and explore treatment options.

What can cause infertility?

Infertility can be caused by various factors, including hormonal imbalances, issues with ovulation or sperm production, structural abnormalities in the reproductive organs, age-related decline in fertility, certain medical or genetic conditions, lifestyle factors like smoking or excessive alcohol consumption, and underlying health conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or endometriosis. Consulting with a healthcare professional or fertility specialist can help identify causes and explore appropriate treatment options specific to you.

How common is infertility?

Infertility affects approximately 1 in 6 Australian couples of reproductive age. It is a common issue that can impact both men and women. However, it's important to remember that infertility is a complex condition with various causes, and seeking medical evaluation and assistance can help couples navigate their fertility journey accurately.

How do you emotionally cope with infertility?

Coping with infertility can be emotionally challenging. It's important to acknowledge and express your feelings, seek support from loved ones or infertility support groups, and consider counselling or therapy. Practicing self-care, maintaining open communication with your partner, and exploring alternative paths to parenthood can also help navigate the emotional journey of infertility.